Is marriage a good idea– in general?
Marriage rates have been falling in the USA, probably due to feminism in past decades and more recently due to “red pill” disillusionment with a Pollyannish view of women.
Shakespeare, who I consider quite possibly the smartest person who ever lived, referred to “Marriage.. a pattern of celestial peace.” I take this to mean that a good marriage, is the framework from which to find the most exquisite contentment in life.
Schopenaeuer’s essay on women is sympathetic to them, but largely dismissive of the ability of women to create works, one might say, of “genius.”
Camille Paglia is quoted as saying the a similar thing– that no woman women has emerged as a Hitler for the same reason no female Beethoven has emerged.
I personally think Joni Mitchell had something pretty close to genius, but there are far more influential and renowned artists, scientists–and mass murderers– that are/were men. But the point of my pursuits is not to debate the reasons why things are as they are– for instance women hold less than 8 per cent of patents in the USA, or that all the mass murderers of the 20th century were male–but how do we deal with things the way they are now in a positive and mutually supportive way.
Even just pointing out the “genius deficit” in women could be considered argumentative and unproductive. Why exactly should I discuss that, and not their “murderer deficit“? Women commit only about 15% of murders in the USA. And there is the little matter that there’d be no men for women to “abuse” if a woman hadn’t grown the man in the first place.
Let’s imagine a thought experiment: Men can clone themselves in labs, without any involvement from women. In this scenario you could be a Red Pill cad. associating with women only as entertainment, without financially subsidizing them.
Imagine the life of that cloned man. One obvious outcome is that he wouldn’t have a mother.
For me, that alone would make this whole idea insane.
Isn’t it more productive to be in the here and now with the women we associate with, and try to find the best life we can together?
That doesn’t mean I’m going to toe an equalist line if someone pushes me, but I have to ask myself is it productive to actively hammer on the deficiencies of women when the drawbacks of men include murdering others at a much higher rate?
I believe Sun Tzu said something like” When things come to war, both side lose.” I agree with that.
But I believe there’s a difference between being diplomatic -which is NOT equivalent to toadying, it’s being conciliatory to degree bother sides get the most important things– being pro-equal opportunity, and absolute , dogmatic equivalency.
Extreme feminism ( beyond equality to preferential treatment for women) as well as a harsh “Red Pill Realism” (dismissing women as inherently less valuable than men) are both antagonistic and counter-productive in most situations.
Now that I’m done being mad about extremist “feminism”, I want to take posit a view of women and marriage modeled on the joyful, pleasant life my father and mother had in their forty year plus marriage.
“It’s a wonderful life, if you find the right woman.” my father said to me.
He was first married to a nit-picking harridan, divorced her and then married my humble, funny and kind mother; who was also valedictorian of her high school class, although she discounted it by saying she didn’t take the hardest courses.
The King James Christian bible is sometimes so poetic I can’t resist stealing, even if the cosmology is a little juvenile, great poetry never dies.
So 2500, years ago, and 2000 years ago, and 500 years ago, and 80 years ago, wise men have agreed: A good marriage is a wonderful source of happiness for a man.
Now, punitive feminists and overly critical Red Pillers are informing us that now marriage is obsolete, each side claiming it’s because the other one is suddenly more corrupted and evil than they ever were.
So we are believe the musings of the last 40 years over that of the last 2500?
Now if you were talking about the fabrication of integrated circuits, I’d say you should believe the new knowledge about it. It’s man made technology and changes fast. About human nature and the basic everyday relationships that make us happy- no.
But if you are going to get married, make sure it’s a good one– Men avoid void bar girls and angry feminists; women avoid drunks and violent guys without jobs.
Here are some quotes I found, along with a link to a great writer who is not as well known today, Maxwell Anderson.
King James Bible ( About 2000 years ago)
She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.
Shakespeare ( About 500 years ago.)
“Thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife!”
(Much Ado About Nothing 5.4.126)
But Shakespeare warns about marriage to an unsuitable woman ( translate to colloquial “spoiled, entitled bitch”)
“For what is wedlock forced but a hell,
An age of discord and continual strife?
Whereas the contrary bringeth bliss,
And is a pattern of celestial peace.”
(1 Henry VI 5.5.63-6)
Maxwell Anderson. ( About 100 years ago)
“If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods
Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless
Against them while they stand so.”
My Mother ( about 50 years ago.)
“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
Now, extreme critics of both men and women are telling you that they are smarter than all these very smart people, from very different ages, and you should not trust “the other”. None of their writing–by definition– has stood the test of time.
Shakespeare makes sure to warn of the caveats, but he still holds out hope.
Some people are best off as loners, but not most. Most of you are really much the same as people have been for millennia, except you have more technical knowledge floating around in your hear, and hopefully are going to live longer.
It’s simplistic to reduce things to a “pill” that when taken fixes things. Fixing things takes work, and a knowledge of how the particular thing is supposed to work. The argument behind Red Pill is you can simply find out the bad things, become cynical, and then you’ll be able to approach the world with more savvy. Maybe true, but are you then in a state of bad faith?
My idea is you’ll do better in life emotionally and materially and with someone loyal and true to you at your side.
This, in an admitted oversimplification in the age of glib sound bites, is my nascent idea of the White Pill.